Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind, images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me..

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do...

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me images
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never ever forget these images, no..

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do..

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind..

So now you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy to walk
Right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Why can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do..

Move --- College!

Akhirnya, taggal 31 Agustus, gue pindah ke Malang.

Orang-orang heran kenapa gue milih universitas di Malang, i mean, that is way tooo far from Bekasi. ya abis gimana orang gue gak diterima dimana-mana selain di Unibraw-_-- wkwk beberapa hari sebelumnya gue emang nangis terus gamau ninggalin rumah, gue kepikiran nyokap terutama. nyokap udah ngga muda lagi, sekarang udah sering sakit dan mudah capek. But, sendirinya gue dianter nyokap pas pindahan. Dia nemein gue sampe selesai ospek.

Sampe Malang, gue speechless. finally i stepped the next chart of my life: college. apa-apa bakal sendiri. untung kosan gue deket kemana- mana.-_-

Ospek selesai, 3 hari doang sh, tapi capenya buseeeet mau kebelah punggung gueee:'( dan hari terakhir ospek nyokap gue balik:') jadi pulang2 ospek nyokap udah gaada di kosan, ya sedih juga sih, tapi dia punya tanggug jawab lain.

Selama 18 tahun hidup, gue gak pernah punya planning untuk lanjutin kuliah di Unibraw. Samasekali. Tadinya gue udah fix banget di Bandung atau Semarang lah paling nggak, tpi ternyata Allah berkatalain. Gue bisa masuk Unibraw juga lewat jalur mandri yang kena biaya selangit. Emang nasib lewat jalur terakhir.. :(

Kotanya sih nyaman, not alot of traffic, tapi jalur angkotnya ribet, dan gue ga hafal. pokoknya ribet kalo gaada kendaraan di Malang dan ga hafal jalan, ckck. And now, sekarang gue menjalani hari pertama jadi anak kos tanpa mama.

Yeah, kalo dipikir-pikir, kok gue udah kuliah aja padahal kemarin baru masuk SMA. bokap sampe sedih gitu waktu nganterin gue ke bandara. dan gue gatau kapan gue bakal balik ke Bekasi. mungkin semesteran? hiks tapi ya gitu lama banget :(((( nasib jd anak rantau gini nih..

AND, gue belu punya temen akrab disini. Even pas ospek kemaren, blm ada yg bener-bener nyambung sama gue. Ada sih satu, tapi itupun jarang ketemu sama gue.

Gue harap ge bisa nemuin teme yang bener-bener nyambug sama gue, secepatnya.:( huhu, never thought that life would be kinda this hard. apa-apa bakal sendri.

Well I hope everything will going smooth & semua bakal baik-baik aja. :)

Have u ever had an almost lover? Like, once upon a time u fall in love with a boy. You thought that he liked u in return. U got the false signals. So many hopes on that guy. So many dreams on him. But yet u just misunderstanding all those signals, all his attitude. Like u feel like u almost formed a romance between u and him. But someday he just walked away from ur life and he seems sooo fine. U thought he'll be ur everything. In this case I dont blame that guy. But u know, its kinda hard dor being a girl. We mostly misunderstanding the guy's attitude towards us. 

And now that thing is happened to me. Like what the hell made me think he likes me back in return? Even there's no a evidence. And now I just gound that he's taken. My false. My bad for thinking he likes me too. But u know, idk i feel that he was so real for me, at the old days he was being kida sweet to me. Idk man but i got some 'evidence' about it. And now what? Lol. I got broken hearted for many times now. And im used to. But this time i feel like he was so real. But unfortunately we're not. My FALSE.

Yaudahlahyaaa mungkin gue cuma dianggep adeknya doaang, ga lebihh, huhu emang salah ngarep yg enggak enggak.-.- abis gimana, laki2 yg punya sense of humor yg tinggi ngalahin laki laki yang ganteng sekalipun..

Yaah haha aneh sih gw jadiin dia motivasi gue untuk masuk Ui, yo seenggaknya kan ada penyemangat gituuu. Thats why gue mau banget masuk UI. Tapi gue tetep ga yakin sama hasil Simak kemarin astagaa😭😭😭 gue ga ngerjain banyak juga. 

Kalaupun gue ga satu kampus sama dia, gue gabakal nyesel pernah kenal dia. Sungguh gue beruntung bisa join Olimpiade Ilmu Sosioal 2013 and then I met you!! Hahah. Awal ketemu sih biasa  aja, malah kesannya gue cuek aja gitu. Tapi, oh man, itu bener bener 6 hari paling berharga gue di UI. Apalagi di mentorin sama diaa:))) ? Gak sIh, tapi selalu bisa buat orang ketawa. And I love that.

Tiap hari gue berdoa biar bisa dapet PTN tahun ini, entah dari SBMPTN, SIMAK UI atau ujian mandiri. But, hellooo, he is in UI, dan kalau gue boleh berharap lebih, gue mau bgt jadi adek kelasnya diaaa ahhaaha amin. Ya tapi kalau bukan UI gapapa sih, yang penting PTN😏

Happy 4 years of my tumblr! :D

So I got this email notification from tumblr, reminding me that today, 4 years ago, when I was in 8th grade/14 years old, I made up this fucking crazy site which I never get bored to visit. All my sadness, happiness, feeling blue.. All added on this blog^^ and never stop tp make me laugh too. I learn about life a lot from tumblr. All the wise words. Funny pict. Etc.

So.. Happy 4 years for my tumblr!!!❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘

My tumblr site: bcktodecember.tumblr.com (I hope none of my friends would follow me & I welcome to strangers who want o follow. :P)

Nothing - The Script

Am I better off dead? 

Am I better off a quiter?

They say Im better off now

Than I ever was with her

As they take me to my local down the street

Im smiling but Im dying, trying not to drag my feet..

They say few drinks will help me to forget her

But after one too many, I know that I'll never

Only they can't see where this is gonna end

They all think Im crazy, but to me its perfect sense..

And my mater all are there try to calm me down

Cause Im shouting your name all over town

Im swearing if i go there now,

I can change her mind turn it all around

And I know that Im drunk, but I'll say the words

And she'll listen this time eventhough they slurred

So I diall her number and confess to her

Im still in love, but all I heard was nothing....

So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences

Inknow that if we're face to face that she'll come to her six sence

Every drunk step I take lead me to her door

If she sees how much Im hurting, she'll take me back for sure..

Back to reff

Oh, sometimes love's intoxicating

Oh, you're coming down, your hands are shaking

When you realize there's no one waiting..

Am I better off dead?

Am I better off a quiter?

They say im better off bow

Than I ever was with her..

Back to reff

Liburan plus deg deg an

So. After the national exams, we (12 graders) have holidays, right? I mean, a long long holiday. Bayangin aja gue libur dari April sampe Agustus...... (Well tergantung masing masing kampus sih ada yg masuk Agustus, ada juga yang September) 

Tapi skg tuh bener-bener deg degan nungguin pengumuman SNMPTN tanggal 27 Meiii. Semoga aja gue diterima, amin.. Karena semua kemungkinan buruk itu selalu ada, jadi gue jaga-jaga belajar buat SBMPTN. Gue pernah mimpi ga keterima jalur undangan, ngeri banget kan hahaha. Tapi pertama ngerjain soal-soalnya tuh, kayaknya gue gapernah ngeligat soal se mengerikan itu di dalam hidup gueeee hahaha.